Yep, today marks my birthday, isn't it funny how I am 26...on the 26th? Okay, maybe not so. I am entering the transition from mid-to-late 20's. I am so so thankful for another year. I can't wait for many more years, experiences, highs and lows that come with age.
I am entering "the real world". 26 is scary because it's the age where I am kicked out of my mom's healthcare plan so we have to buy a plan for me until I can find a full-time job with benefits. I especially need it because of my lupus. Also, I start paying student loans next month.
I consider myself a late bloomer. I mean, I'm still living at home, and you would think this is the age where people would already have their crap together right now. Yes I still live at home, but I have my reasons: 1. I went to community college and then transferred to the state school nearby rather than moving out, to save money. 2. I have lupus, and my history of seizures have required someone to be with me, but thank God I haven't had a seizure in 16 months because I religiously take my medications now. I have not been sick or flaring up in ages. 3. I help my mom a lot a great deal around the house, something I honestly never did much of until my dad got diagnosed with cancer, and then passed away, so I carry some of her burdens especially since she works a lot. 4. My younger sister has autism so we definitely have to take care of her at all times, especially because my dad used to be the primary one taking care of her. 6. It's not weird in Asian culture to stay home with your parents until you get married, 2 of my cousins in Vancouver married at 28 and 32 and were still living at home, and they had university degrees and great jobs too. 7. Did I mention I am getting married at 27 anyway? 8. Even though I did focus on the people (like my childhood friend or Cecilio's classmates) that graduated from UC's and are super-educated and had the full college experiences, I had a ton of classmates who were my age and even way older.
I guess, throughout my 20's (which aren't over yet!) I've felt horrible existential crises, especially while I was going to school. I kept comparing myself to my friends or Cecilio's friends, thinking about how much they had the times of their lives because they already graduated college, are traveling a great deal, have decent jobs, and are getting married. It felt like they were having the time of their lives. I had the case of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). It didn't help that I missed out on jobs and internships because I couldn't drive last year because of my seizures.
But I look back on 2015 and can't help but smile. I got my break too, from getting my license back to Cecilio proposing to me in NYC, to graduating college, to now balancing a part time-job and internship. I may have been behind my other peers, but I am slowly developing a better attitude in life and creating the life I have dreamed of. It doesn't matter how slow or fast you go as long as you are going through the process and you're trying. And it's ok to want to feel like a kid at times, especially at heart. Of course life is going to throw you more serious curveballs, but just take heart. And just breathe.
I am looking forward to many more years and decades. Life is too short not to get out there and enjoy. And that's all I want to be able to do.
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